What ‘grandmacore’ teaches us about girlhood, growing up
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Last summer, all I wanted to be was a girl. Maybe it was because of the films and TV shows I was watching at the time like “Barbie” and “The Summer I Turned Pretty.” Maybe it was all of the online jokes about “girl math” and “girl dinner.” Whatever the reason, the internet had successfully coaxed me into romanticizing my girlhood, youth and all the remnants of an earlier time in my life in order to forget the overwhelming reality of adulthood.
In this new year, however, as I spend most of my free time sitting in front of the TV with a cup of tea while I crochet, embroider, sew or cross-stitch, I’ve found that the opposite is true – I couldn’t be happier to be embracing my inner elderly woman and becoming a living embodiment of “grandmacore.” Especially when there are so many negative stereotypes toward aging, I find this aesthetic as a source of reassurance and strength for myself.
Grandmacore first gained traction as a fashion trend on TikTok in 2021. People all over the platform were uplifting the cozy and comfortable aesthetic: knit sweaters, wool coats, babushkas, neck scarves, gloves. Since then, I’ve noticed that it makes a resurgence every December or so, just in time for the colder weather where coziness and comfort is exactly what we all need.
And, of course, we can’t forget about the crafts. From knitting to needle punching, embroidery to quilting, there has been an explosion in popularity in the fiber arts across the internet. Much of it, especially crochet, can be traced back to 2020 when people were more than willing to spend their free time in lockdown crocheting dupes of the Harry Styles cardigan, for example, and even starting their own businesses.
The best part? It was all being spread by the youngest generation in the world, many of whom had discovered these art forms for the very first time, long after they were written off as only being for older people.
Four years on, this love for the fiber arts is something that hasn’t gone away, even becoming a form of protest against fast fashion and waste.
But as someone with personal experience practicing these art forms, grandmacore demonstrates to me that the way women are expected to age and what we think about different periods of our lives isn’t actually as representative of the aging process as it seems.
If last summer asked us to age in reverse, the past few years have made it okay, even cool, to age rapidly in terms of the hobbies and interests we pursue. But, for many women, that hasn’t stopped it from being scary. On this vast spectrum of girlhood, it seems as if there is no winning when we are victims of society’s ideas about how women are supposed to grow up.
Just look at the entertainment industry, where being an older woman still acting in Hollywood, and in important roles at that, is nothing short of a miracle. In these spaces no matter how old a female celebrity gets, she will always be judged for her body, her wrinkles, the color of her hair – so much so that women pay for cosmetic surgery to look younger, reversing the aging process or stopping it altogether.
This carries over into our everyday lives, too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the women in my life get embarrassed or lie when someone asks how old they are. How many times I’ve heard the phrase, “she looks good for her age” and asked myself what that even means. We’re socialized to be ashamed of getting older, hiding away our birth year like it’s a huge secret, at the same time that we’re supposed to believe it’s a blessing.
Then, of course, there’s the other side of the spectrum where teenage girls of color, especially Black girls, are adultified and sexualized far earlier in life than their white counterparts. Women of color are expected to grow up almost as soon as we learn to walk, held to higher standards of behavior, maturity and strength.
We’re pressured by the burdens of society’s expectations to be responsible, not be as innocent or carefree, take care of others and think less about ourselves. It’s exhausting and dehumanizing, leading us to higher rates of mental illness, self-isolation and even negative interactions with police – all because we’re not being protected the way we deserve.
In a world where women are held to impossible, contradictory standards of beauty and aging, it seems to me that teenage girls and elderly women have far more in common with each other than we might think. It’s probably why Generation Z found so much kinship with grandmacore in the first place and certainly why embracing experiences outside of our own is so popular. When we’re all trying to figure out our true identities as girls, women and femmes, sometimes it’s easier for us to try on different hats on the spectrum of girlhood than it is to only embrace our own.
That has been my greatest salvation in understanding and celebrating who I am. In the end, embracing the stereotypical activities of older women helps me feel safe and makes me believe, despite all I’ve been told, that growing up might not be so bad after all.
Sofia Aguilar is a first-year grad student in the Library and Information Science program. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at [email protected].
